Woman Who Lives with Her Boyfriend’s Mom Says She Is Limiting Her Laundry Loads

• A 22-year-old woman who lives with her boyfriend and his mom says that the mom recently limited her laundry to “one load” per week
• The woman — who shared her story on Reddit — said she believes the mom made the decision in order to “spite” her because “she knows I only have so many sets of work clothes which [means] I have to do multiple loads a week”
• The woman says she talked the situation over with her boyfriend, 24, telling him “this is the small s— that’s gonna end up splitting us up”

A woman who lives with her boyfriend and his mom said the mom is “limiting” them each to one load of laundry per week, and she noted that her boyfriend is refusing to speak up on their behalf.

The 22-year-old detailed her experience on the popular Reddit forum “Am I the A——” where Reddit users can go to seek advice about interpersonal dilemmas. In her post, the woman said that she and her boyfriend, 24, have been dating for seven years and have been living with his mother “for 2 months now.”

The woman added that she was recently doing laundry when her boyfriend informed her that his mom has “limited us to one load a week.”

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“I feel like she’s doing this [to spite me] since it’s not the first time something like this has happened,” the original poster (OP) shared, adding, “She knows I only have so many sets of work clothes which [means] I have to do multiple loads a week.”

The woman said she then told her boyfriend that she would be willing to buy the laundry pods herself, “since I’m already going to be paying the waterbill.” However, she added that he “ just shook his head and stayed silent.”

The woman noted that she then told her boyfriend that she feels as though he is “always defending” his mom and consistently takes “her side and not mine,” adding that she told him “this is the small s— that’s gonna end up splitting us up.”

The OP claimed her boyfriend remained silent throughout the exchange, and she’s now wondering if she’s the “a——” for speaking up about it.

Redditors were divided over the OP’s actions, with some saying that she should simply suck it up.

“Her house, her rules. Get your own place,” said one person.

Others, however, said they thought the whole situation was an indicator of a larger problem in the relationship. 

“NTA [not the a——],” said one person. “But I suspect she will continue to inconvenience you while you stay there. The laundry is probably just the first of many problems she may try to cause with you and with your relationship. Have a backup plan on places to stay for sure.”

Another person added: “NTA. You see the outcome of this relationship and you see your future in it. You are dating an immature person. He’s still on team Momma. He won’t move to team GF not if this has been the pattern for 7 years. Laundromat, stop paying her bills. Move out and move on.”

One person, however, noted that they think everyone in the scenario is somewhat at fault.

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“ESH [everyone sucks here],” they said. “Mom for being passive-aggressive instead of using her words to tell you she regrets her decision to let you move in, your BF for sticking his head in the sand and letting you ladies duke it out amongst yourselves so he doesn’t have to take sides, and you for being oblivious to some pretty broad-sounding hints that you’re not fitting into the household with the current model of behaviors.”

They added: “It sounds like everyone here needs to have an actual honest conversation to see if there’s a way to get along, or make a plan to move out.”